𝑬𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉

I wanted to throw away my uterus. I don't think my parents would allow that, but I'm going to rebel. I thought that about two months ago. Before the new year, I was absolutely sure that I was a woman. Recently, I started to think that my chest and crotch didn't suit me. My mental and physical gender are opposites? No. My physical gender is female, but my mental gender is not male. That's right, it's in the middle. I'm androgynous. Because I don't like skirts, but I don't like robots. Right? So, influenced by that person, I started using "ore" as my first-person pronoun. I haven't worn a skirt even once recently. I'm going to cut my hair soon. But even if I can solve that, the problem with my chest and uterus can't be solved now. Today, my mother gave me a bra, and I have to wear a panty liner. I can't throw away the fact that I'm a "woman". But still, I'm still alive. I've been troubled by this many times. There were times when I wanted to die, and I really thought about self-harming. But I'm still living my life to the fullest. This is a very great thing. Right? To anyone translating and reading this, don't worry. Cry as always.(lol) Thank you.‪‪^_−‪⭐︎

I haven't gotten my first period yet, but I know my period is coming. My mom told me, "You're secreting female hormones, but the amount isn't enough yet, so it probably hasn't reached the point where your period starts." I hate it. I'm androgynous. It's really hard. I've managed to endure it until now. Even though I have vaginal discharge, I don't want to admit that I'm a woman, so I wear the sheets even though I don't like them. Recently, my pubic hair has started growing, and it's so disgusting that I really feel like throwing up. Well, it's the same for both men and women. I hate it so much that I secretly cut it off with scissors in my room when my parents aren't around. But it's still no good. As I said in the previous English lesson, my mom gave me a bra. I got something that looks feminine, and I told my mom that I didn't need it, but I really hate it. I think that the second growth spurt is when boys' voices change and their shoulders get broader, making them more manly, but I don't want to be like that. I really don't understand this. People often understand transgender people, but for some reason, androgynous people are not. It's the same LGBTQ. By the way, I'm X-gender, or androgynous, in the "queer" part of LGBTQ. I like women and I'm asexual. In short, I'm a queer lesbian and asexual. There are so many things going on and it's hard. I wish I hadn't been born like this

英語だと言いたいこと言えるからいいね
翻訳しないと分からない人は分からない

It's a two-hour drive to the nearest LaLaport. Shit. There's no big place like that near my house. If there is, it's Donki or Toys R Us. There are no big shows. The train station is so far away, you can't go to school by bike, and there are hardly any places to kill time. There's only the park or Mr. K's house. Why is the environment around my house so bad? I don't have that many friends. Even if I do, they live near the school and are so far away that I can't go play with them. I do have friends who live close by, but I don't like them. It's more fun to hang out with just Mr. K. I can't open up to them. That friend of mine seems to get along well now, but she used to bully Mr. K. Mr. K said that she used to hit him. I was scared. I think that's why I haven't been able to open up to other people so easily. I lie to Mr. K, but the only person I can reveal my true self to is Mr. K. When I'm with K, I feel so relaxed and happy. We can talk about games and the future easily, and we've been friends since kindergarten, so we trust each other. I think I'm dependent on K. I've said it many times, but I can only reveal my true self to K. K is cute and a little pitiful, but he's really scary, so I feel like I have to protect him. He rides his bike speed fast, crosses the street even when the lights are flashing, rides in his boots, and I'm always worried he'll get into an accident. That girl says she has nothing to do because her parents took her smartphone, iPad, Switch, and Netflix, so she's really happy to play with me. It must be nice to hear something like that from someone you like. K is also bullied by his friends and left alone at home all day by his crazy parents, so I feel so sorry for him, and I want to live with him when he grows up. I want to raise him

Entzun nazazu. Gorroto ditut bainuak. Zergatik? Hori emanda dago. Biluzik egongo naizelako. Gero bainuontzian busti, burua, gorputza eta aurpegia garbitu, atera, lehortu eta arropa aldatzen dut. Guztiak biluzik orain arte. Ez al da luzeegia? Pikanteegia neutrorako. Ez baitut nire gorputz femeninoa ikusi nahi. Azkenaldian, korrika nagoenean, bularrean dardara ematen dit eta negar egiteko gogoa daukat. Nire laguna bere aldian kexatzen ari zen eta negar egiteko gogoa eman zidan. Zer arraio! ! ! Androginoa naizela denei agerian utzi nahi diet! ! ! ! ! Zergatik ez dago ondo? ? Zergatik izan behar dute emakumeak emakumeak eta gizonak gizonak? ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💢💢💢💢💢💢 💢💢😭😭😭💢💢💢💢💢💢💢💢💢😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 😡😡😡😡😡😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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